Why does it have to be one or the other?

Yesterday was one of those days where I woke up excited for the moment when I could get back in bed. Never a good sign.  The past month has been go, go, go and it doesn’t appear to be slowing down any time soon.  That being said, it’s really making me enjoy those moments I do get to just decompress.

Last night consisted of several of those moments.  I couldn’t have been more content all cozied up in my over-sized Patriot’s tee with a cup of peppermint tea catching up on my favorite reads.

One of which is Verily, a great blog for any woman who is interested in style and class and enjoys thought-provoking, well written articles.

Anyway, one of the recent posts, was about Dr. Brill’s obituary in the New York Times. The post by Monica Gabriel starts out as follows:

“Alarms of sexism rang out across the twittersphere last week, as the New York Times scrambled to recover from the unexpected onslaught of furious chirping. The Times obituary on deceased rocket scientist and inventor, Dr. Yvonne Brill,  began by describing Brill as a woman, a mother, a wife, and—the gravest offense—a good cook.

‘She made a mean beef stroganoff, followed her husband from job to job and took eight years off from work to raise three children…. The world’s best mom,” her son Matthew said.’

The writer, Douglas Martin, makes mention of Brill’s professional accomplishments in the third sentence:

‘But Yvonne Brill, who died on Wednesday at 88 in Princeton, N.J., was also a brilliant rocket scientist who in the early 1970s invented a propulsion system to keep communications satellites from slipping out of their orbits.’

As I read past the offending two sentence lede, I wondered who was really being censured as sexist last week. Was it the male obit writer who used Brill’s femininity to reduce her professional achievements? Or was it the proverbial messenger who was silenced for telling the story of a woman who wanted to be remembered as a mother just as much as she wanted to be remembered for her professional accomplishments?”

I really like Gabriel’s  questioning as to who is being sexist in this instance.

When did it become a negative thing for a woman to WANT to be a mother? To put your children and your family BEFORE your career?

This is something I personally have struggled with.  It has always been incredibly important for me to become successful.  It is equally as important to me that one day I get to experience the joys of being a mother.  One day being the keyword. In no way shape or form am I ready to take on that role yet! Still, I have often struggled with that desire and felt guilty for wanting to be a mom just as much as I want to have a successful career.

I feel as though there is pressure in our society to not want those things.  That some people think a woman who would choose family over  a career is not strong or smart. When in fact, I think just the opposite.  I think it takes a very strong, caring woman to put her family first.

I am all about being able to have both.  I think, as a woman, you most certainly can have a successful career and be a phenomenal mother.  Dr. Brill is proof of that.