San Fran

I got back from my California vacation on Friday and it already feels like a lifetime ago!  I worked Friday night and then two back-to-back doubles Saturday and Sunday.  Saturday was pretty rugged, but I made it through!  I’m lucky to have some great co-workers and some good regulars!

Anyway, San Francisco was amazing!  I loved everything about it.  From the moment I got there and was reunited with an old friend over some amazing Korean food to waking up the next morning to go blog at Caffe Trieste, the beat generations’ old hang out, to catching up with more old friends and exploring the city, every moment was relaxing in that while everything was new, it still felt a little bit like home.

It’s definitely bigger then I imagined from what people saying.  But maybe that’s also because it was all so new and a lot to take in in such a short period of time.  It definitely has an east coast feel in terms of friendliness and coziness and yet still has that personified laid-back west coast vibe.  The part I love most about the city is how everyone is interested in your story.  Sometimes people are fake-friendly and you can definitely tell.  That might get annoying after awhile.  But for the most part people seem genuinely interested! People want to hear your story and what you’re doing- judgements aside.  And the more creative your journey, the cooler you are.

Everyone seems to be observing their surroundings and paying attention to detail.  This active way of living is refreshing.  While everyone is so laid back I think it’s largely due to how they are feeling things out.  Taking in the sights, the moments of life and then adjusting it to their personality and making their next move.  People seem more in tune with themselves.  More confident in what they’re doing.  Whether it’s the daytime bartender at the Irish pub Mary and I caught up over drinks at or the sales rep at Betsey Johnson downtown who is absolutely thrilled to be showing Gwen and I obnoxiously large charm covered necklaces and bracelets (#obssesedwithbestseyjohnson)!

People there seemed to stop caring about the end result.  They aren’t just going through the motions.  They are enjoying the ride. Something I’m big on finding, so clearly, I’m in love with the city.  People have always suggested I visit San Fran as they thought I would love it.  Well I most certainly did and I can’t wait to get back.

Some highlights…

Toyose’s Korean casserole.

Caffe Trieste

Locanda cocktails…they are all about mixology.

Locanda’s bone marrow flat bread…where the food was great and I met the only unpleasant person in San Francisco- the bar tender.

Molinari sandwich for breakfast! (One of Anthony Bourdain’s favorite spots…and I can see why!)

Mary and I.

Wind-blown friends! 🙂

Muir Beach overlook.

Windy roads.

Stinson Beach. Want to live here forever.

Lunch at Stinson Beach. Reason #87 I love CA: so many avocados.

San Francisco from Sausalito.

Golden Gate bridge

The ‘quarter-life crisis’ is the new ‘mid-life crisis.’

I just finished my last interview for my surf story and am about to set out to work on writing it.  But first, a snack: a cup of coffee and several spoonfuls of raw cookie dough.  I haven’t gone grocery shopping in weeks as part of the save-for-California financial program I’m on.  Sweatpants, slippers and big comfy sweater on I can’t help but laugh at myself and prey, ‘please let this story get published.’

These days I like to think I’m beautifully enduring a ‘quarter-life crisis.’  I am almost 25.  I just resigned from a management position to become a full-time bar tender so that I could spend more time doing what I love.  To pursue my passion for writing and my desire to break into the public relations industry.  And the thing is, I’m actually happier!  I am thrilled to be eating cookie dough and furiously writing before traveling to LA with my friends on Thursday.  That actually encompasses a lot of things that I love: sugar, writing, traveling and spending time with my friends, helllooooo!

I look around, and while I’m only 24, the idea that there are people who are my age and just absolutely killing it and doing what they love makes me envious and gives me a heightened sense of anxiety, but is also inspirational!  Why can’t I do that to?  I can.  I do not have to sign a contract and take a salary and live a “stable” lifestyle. That “stable” lifestyle idea actually makes me feel very mentally UNstable.

For generations before it was, without a question in your mind, you went to college, you majored in a profession, you got the job that correlated with that major and planned on doing it for the next 40-years.  You married your college sweetheart started saving for a house and retirement.  Then after doing the same thing day in and day out you woke up realizing there is very little that you love about the life around you, enter mid-life crisis. I’m not saying this happened/happens to everyone! But it did/does happen.

However, I think that way of life is nearing an end.  Now a days, and I guess, in a way, we can thank the down economy for this, my generation is coming to the realization of how important it is to be surrounded by what you love at a much earlier age.

If it’s so hard to get ANY kind of job, why not get the one you want?

Companies get bought and sold, technology is advancing so fast, younger, smarter people are being pumped out of universities in mass quantities every year.  Nothing is guaranteed. The world is changing rapidly at every second. It leaves us constantly questioning EVERYTHING. Our values, what we love, what we want, etc.

It’s not a ‘crisis’ so to say.  It’s actively living. It’s being in touch with our true needs, wants and desires, and it’s a beautiful thing.

While I can’t necessarily do what I love for work right away, writing or pr, I can enjoy the struggle of getting there.  Every moment becomes more significant.  Every day off, every new adventure, every new bar customer, every human interaction becomes that much more meaningful.

The difference between the ‘quarter-life crisis’ and the ‘mid-life crisis’ is that in the current ‘crisis,’ I can still laugh and enjoy the unknown.  My biggest responsibility is myself and my happiness. I don’t have responsibilities like mortgage payments, a husband and/or children. I’m enjoying the journey of getting these. Of getting to a point where I can healthily have these things, which, in turn, will theoretically make it so I appreciate them that much more when I do have them.

I love my ‘quarter life crisis,’ because it is my adventure, my journey into finding myself.

“I’d like to make a reservation for four, Saturday at 7.”

(Photo courtesy of oldphonestore.com)

One of the first things I do when I get into work is check the messages.  Most people who leave messages are inquiring about reservations as, until Sunday, we did not have any other way of making reservations.  We just recently installed OpenTable, a popular reservation system that cuts out me, the middle man, and allows people to make reservations online.   Given the day of the week there can be anywhere from 5 to 27 messages, as was the case last Friday during Maine Restaurant Week.  Twenty-seven messages in the hours from 11pm until 1pm the next day! Yikes.

I could most certainly write a book about some of my favorite messages, but there are also some fairly hilarious consistent faux paus, if you will, that people frequently commit, though they make no sense and most would agree.

1. Some people start out leaving their messages very slowly, reiterating every detail, and then, when they get to the most important part, their phone number, they rush through it. “1955722367. Okay we look forward to hearing from you. Have a nice day.  Thanks. Bye”  It takes them a second to rattle off their ten digit phone number.  I then have to listen to the message again concentrating several times on the number part.  Which begs me asking the question, why would you say your name twice, the time of your requested reservation twice and the number in your party twice and your phone number only once and really quickly not even stopping to pause in between digits? As long as I have the number, I can call you back and ask you your name, your time request, the number in your party etc. But if I don’t have the number…
2. Also, on the topic of phone numbers.  I don’t understand why people leave two numbers.  I understand that people have busy lives and are often in several different places throughout the day, but doesn’t almost every one have a cell phone?  Can’t just that one number suffice?  For example: “My office number is x, I’ll be here for most of the day or you can leave a message with my secretary Marge.  I’ll be home after 5, my number there is x.  But, also you can reach me on my cell all day, at x.”  Why not just the cell phone number?
3. Another pet peeve, though I find great amusement in it, is when people leave their life story on the answering machine.  “Bon jourrr Petite Jacquelineeee.  How are we todayyy?  This is John Smith.  Me and my wife just LOVE your restaurant.  We were in there the other week and had an absolutely fabulous time.  The service was great.  Our waitress, Melissa, was amazing! Anywaaayyy, we were hoping to come in next Friday at 7. It’s our friends birthday.  We are flexible with time but would really love to come at 7 and sit in the window.  We just love your restaurant and want to show our friend a good time so anything you could do to make it extra special.  Our friend is in from out of town. Great.  I’ll be around all day so feel free to call me at x.  Looking forward to it. Byeee!” Five minute later, me having a panic attack and imagining how many more messages were left on the phone in the meantime.
4. And then there’s the “flexible” comments. “We are flexible with time, anywhere between 6:30 and 7:30 would work.”  Okay, people, this is NOT flexible.  EVERYONE wants to come in and eat dinner between 6:30 and 7:30.
5. Some people naturally assume that we are not busy and most certainly can accommodate them, no matter when they’re calling. People will call just several hours before service on a Friday or Saturday night and leave their message saying that they would like a table for 2 at 6:45 and would just like us to call back and confirm to let them know they have the reservation. No. You don’t.  We are fully booked until 9 and have been since yesterday.
6. Another thing that isn’t necessarily a pet peeve, just an interesting quality trait that some people posses, is when they call and make a reservation referring only to themselves.  For example, they say, “I would like to make a reservation at 6 tomorrow.”  I assume that this means they want to make a reservation for themselves only.  However often they are looking for a reservation for two.  Versus most people who say, “I would like to make a reservation for two.” or “I would like to make a reservation for my husband and I.”
7. There’s also times when people call and I answer the phone during the day/night and people are trying to make reservations while talking to someone else in the background.  Numbers get repeated, I get confused as to what’s being confirmed who’s agreeing to what time, what their name is, if they’re yelling at me or their husband, etc. These phone calls generally give SEVERE rise to my anxiety.
8. Now, the WORST, the all time worst, in my mind, is when people call, in the middle of service for a reservation a month away and tell you to ‘hold on.’  They will call in the middle of dinner when I’m trying to seat other people, keep the door closed, help the servers out, and they call and say “Hi, I know this probably isn’t a good time… wow you sound like you’re really busy in there! Good for you guys! Anyway, I’m looking for a reservation for Monday the 8th next month.  Oh, could you hold on just a minute…” There is nothing that makes me want to hang up on a person more.

A general rule of thumb, keep it concise and down to the details.  My favorite messages are the ones that are, “Hi, my name is so and so, my number is x, again that’s x, and I am looking for a reservation for 2 on Friday night at 6.” Boom. Done. 30 seconds. Point conveyed.  In fact I’m more focused on this reservation request because I know exactly what they want and know I can take thirty seconds to call back and say, “Hey Joe, Melissa from Petite Jacqueline. Got your reservation request and we most certainly can accommodate two of you at 6 on Friday. Great. See you then.”

Why I want a 9-to-5 job reason #2: the routine.

Happy daylight savings! #givemespring

In other exciting news, the Michael Kors project is over and my clutch is in the mail. WOO!

Yesterday, Saturday, March 10th, marked a month of resisting the temptation of snacking on baguettes at work.  I celebrated the French way and had a baguette with some cheddar cheese for breakfast at 9am as the brunch shift began and I stared down 13 more hours.  It was beyond satisfying.

A night out with the girls and several hours of sleep later, I am back at it for another brunch shift eagerly awaiting my afternoon and, once again, really craving those 9-to-5 work hours.

Now, I know in my last 9-to-5 post I was venting my frustrations about the daunting routine being an intimidating factor about having a 9-to-5, but, the routine aspect actually appeals to me as well.

Currently, my work days have me constantly watching the clock counting the minutes until when I have to go to work.  I’m always calculating how long I can work out, how much time I need to save to devote to personal hygiene, how many hours I can sleep before waking for brunch, how much time I can devote to being creative and writing, etc. etc.  One of the most frustrating things is when I’m on a roll with a good idea and/or my writing and I have to stop to go to work. To stop doing something you love in order to have to go do something you dislike is a belittling feeling.

My obsessive minute counting boils down to two important things: the hours of my work day and the nature of my work.

The hours that I work: Firstly, the hours that I work are so obscure. I often feel as though they are working against what my internal clock is telling me my body wants. Recently I have generally been working 6 shifts a week, from 1pm to 11pm, with the exception of my Saturday double, 8am to 11pm, and Sunday brunch shift, 8am to 2ish. While counting those minutes before work, my levels of anxiety are always heightened as I’m feverishly attempting to hold on and enjoy every second of freedom.

While these are the hours that I’m actually in the restaurant, a restaurant that is open seven days a week does not stop because I do.  Things have to be ordered and prepared daily, people have to be called back, etc. etc.  If there is confusion about a reservation or an order and I’m not in the building, a phone call is made no matter what I’m doing.  There are no concrete boundaries in this position.  Personal life is always at the risk of being interrupted by a work “crisis.”

It would be comforting and sustainable to work a job where there was a set time to go to work. Where there were hours when I was going to strictly focus on work finding comfort in the fact that when work hours were over, there would be hours for personal time.

The nature of my work: I’m doing a job I don’t love, fact.  The idea of going to work is not a pleasant one. While I am currently in a transition phase at work, I have spent many unhappy hours getting to this phase. I am big on enduring, on “toughing it out,” as my father, like most parents, encouraged me to do as a kid. I never see how bad it is until I get too deep and then bailing becomes that much harder and overwhelming.  It’s like bailing out a sailboat.  If there’s just a little water to get rid of it’s quick, easy and painless.  But when your boat is half full of water and sinking, panic sets in and the task of bailing becomes much harder.

Much of my dislike of my current management position stems from lack of sense of accomplishment.  The day in, day out tasks are somewhat the same and don’t give me any real sense of achievement. Organizing wine only to have it be disorganized later, printing out mailing list cards only to have to enter them into an electronic mailing list later, checking the messages day in day out to take reservations; these things don’t really get me fired up.  It is hard for me to track how that contributes to my success.  If I was doing something that I loved with greater, long term accomplishments towards my goals, I would be a much more satisfied person.

I think having a 9-to-5 job, a set group of days and allotted hours where I set out to work, say working at a public relations firm or writing for a magazine, would give me the satisfaction I’m craving AND leave me having time to make some personal life accomplishments too. Like finishing the book I’m reading!!!

My personal thoughts on this matter aside, I’m most certainly not saying that the restaurant industry is like this everywhere and for everyone.  Some peoples’ brains function during these hours and they are able to turn it on and off just as in a 9-to-5 job. Further I know many people that get great satisfaction out of their restaurant jobs, I am just not one of those people.

The fact that I have been able to come to this conclusion about myself and my work in the biz, despite how upsetting at times, makes me happy that I did it.  It has really been a contributing factor to my dive back into writing and I’m very grateful for that!

My start at PR

playlist of the day

I can’t sit still!  Too much caffeine and a thrilling morning of trying to find a last-minute ticket for the Black Keys show tonight for one of my best friends, Amber, has me fired up and unable to focus on anything but the show tonight.  Headed with my brother, his best friend and Amber should make for a motley midcoast crew.  Perfect for the driving rock that the Black Keys provide.

Deep breaths.

Today before rocking out to one of my all time favorite bands, I do have some work to do.  I’m embarking on an endeavor to start doing some freelance public relations work.  First step, writing a proposal.  Absolutely NO idea how to do this.  Luckily, I have some good advisers. Currently accepting any and all tips.

The whole writing/blogging/want for a 9-to-5 job has really got me thinking about launching a career in PR.  In college, my first co-op internship was as a public relations and media communications representative at the Wentworth Institute of Technology.  Though it was not my ideal subject matter, I loved using my organization, time management and communication skills and being able to see my work materialize.

My co-operative education adviser always pushed for me to go into public relations. In fact, I think she actually sabotaged sending out my resume for my first co-op so that my only option ended up being the PR job I took.  Probably not.  But, point being, she was a huge advocate for my career in PR.  If only I hadn’t bee so stubborn and hard pressed on becoming a world-changing journalist.

Anyway, I learned the hard way, decided that newspapers were not the way to go for me, and got caught up in the restaurant industry, as the trend tends to go.  Loads of cash quick.  As a young 20-year-old, it’s pretty gratifying.  However, as an almost 25-year-old, I’m starting to realize the long-term bad outweighs the short-term benefits of the biz.

That being said, I think waiting tables and managing has made me an even more prime candidate for public relations.  Honing my ability to pay attention to detail, multitask and tell people what they want to hear.

Since I have these seemingly ideal base qualities to start a career in PR, I now need to learn some basics.  Trial and error approach in effect. Time to write a proposal.

Service industry gifts: to tip or not to tip?

I had fairly neutral feelings about last nights 84th Academy Awards, however, it is a long standing tradition of mine to watch them.   Some of my most cherished childhood memories are watching them with my mother.  One thing that stood out to me last night were the class act speeches. Christopher Plummer and Meryl Streep both gave what I thought were unique and very classy speeches.  Class.  Something I find very important and too often ignored these days.

Recently I ran into a “class” deliema.  When someone gives you a service industry gift do you tip or is it expected that they have already taken care of the tip as well?  By service industry gift I mean if someone pays for you to have your nails done or your hair done or calls ahead to buy you and your significant other dinner, etc.

I disucssed this with some of my service industry buds and came up with a few important factors and guidelines for both parties involved, the giver and the receiver.

The Giver

If you give a service industry gift, the classiest thing to do, in my opinion, is to leave the tip as well.  However, either way, this should be told to the person receiving the gift.

• When giving the gift you should let the receiver know that everything has been taken care of except the tip or let them know that it has all been taken care of.

Now, this presents a problem when someone calls a head to pay for a bottle of wine or a dinner in a surprise gesture.

• If you’re giving a bottle of wine or champagne, we decided it was hands down necessary to tip on this.  For what if someone is out to dinner and didn’t want to drink that wine or champagne at all?  They most certainly shouldn’t have to tip on a 75 dollar bottle that they may not have even wanted.

• If you’re calling a head to surprise someone by paying for their service, we think that the tip should be taken care of for this as well.

The Gift Receiver

If you receive the gift, first and foremost, I personally, think it’s classless to blatantly ask the person performing the service if the other has tipped. That last example is where it can get tricky.  If someone surprise you with a gift by calling ahead to pay, should the receiver leave the tip in this case?

• If someone buys you a surprise dinner or manicure or whatever, it should be expected that everything has been taken care of.  HOWEVER, it does not hurt to pay the gift forward.  Why not leave another tip?

• If you are comfortable enough with the giver and in a situation where you can ask- NOT in front of the person performing the service- that’s acceptable as well.

• When receiving any kind of gift, it is always important to say “Thank you.”

I know this last tip is an obvious one, but I think a lot of times we go through our “thank-yous” a little too mechanically and without meaning. Personally I’m still a fan of the thank-you card, probably because my mother never let a birthday or Christmas go by without a whole slew of follow up thank-you notes to family and dear friends.  Before we were allowed to seal our envelopes my mom would double check to make sure there was more involved then just a “thank you for x” line.  Don’t underestimate the power of a heartfelt thank-you!

James Beard Award Nomination

I don’t know if I have mentioned thus far where I work, but I can’t think of a prouder moment.  I am currently working at Petite Jacqueline, a French Bistro in Longfellow Square in Portland.  Today, while getting out last night’s margaritas on the elliptical machine, I received a “call me” text from my dear friend, boss and one of the owners of Petite Jacqueline, Liz.  Worried, I asked her if it was an emergency.  She responded with “No- we got nominated for James Beard best new restaurant in the country!!!!!!”  Six exclamation marks is not enough.  I jumped off the machine and ran out of the gym to call and congratulate her.  Liz has put in a tremendous amount of work into making the Bistro what it is and I cannot think of a person who deserves this more.  We have had a great team over the past year and I’m very proud to have been a part of it.  Now, get your butts to Longfellow Square and check out what the James Beard Foundation considers one of the twenty best new restaurants in the country. Word.

The Michael Kors Project

If you are looking at this screenshot and thinking, “Oh! Want. NEED.” You are having the same instant reactions I was having a few weeks ago when I received a what-to-buy-your-valentine emailer from Apple. I had just gotten paid and felt like treating myself to a Valentine’s Day present.  The thought, “You need to be saving for your April California vacation” wasn’t really present, as my financially irresponsible spending habits go.

It was at this moment that the Michael Kors Project, a little initiative I started in order to bring about a bought of sobriety and slow my carbohydrate intake, started.

As I was perusing the different potential colors of this Michael Kors clutch I would soon be rocking, I recalled a tip I read in an old copy of Shape magazine that morning at the gym.  The article suggested choosing something to reward yourself with after making consecutive healthy life choices as a way of staying motivated.  Feeling bored at work and intrigued by this new health mission, I started brainstorming.  As I’m big on indulgences, especially when it comes to food, I wondered what I could/should try to go without.

It took about 30 seconds for the idea to come to me.  As I was mingling around the POS system at work with my coworkers waiting for what few midweek diners we would get in the brutally slow February evenings, I looked around and saw our bread service station.  An inviting, heaping basket of baguettes.  I touch on the horrendous relationship I’ve developed with the bread at work in a previous post. More or less what happens just about every night at the end of work, when I haven’t eaten in hours, is I start snacking on baguettes embellished with butter and/or other easily accessible condiments. Clearly not the best snack to eat in mass quantity at 10 pm.

What started February 8th as three nights without snacking on bread or having any wine, has turned into a modified month-long mission of no bread at work until March 8th.  The goal obviously being the above absolutelycannotlivewithout Michael Kors clutch, but also in hopes that I will break my bread addiction and gain a little bit more self control.  Having something so fascinatingly adorable is actually making it quite a bit easier to just say no!

In other exciting news, this morning I set out to write 1,000 words.  Instead I wrote a little over 1,600 while writing two blog posts, finishing a profile piece, grocery shopping, working out, putting away laundry and having a fabulous lunch with my grandparents.  I think rewarding myself with a pre-Jackie’s-birthday-dinner glass of wine is in order!  I’m really starting to enjoy this new rewards program I got going on. 🙂

Why I want a 9-to-5 job reason #1: my health.

These days my desire for a 9 to 5 job is quite strong.

My daily stimulants.

By that I mean I want to work the hours of 9am to 5pm.  Adapting the mentality that comes along with it is a little daunting.  I see many 9-to-5ers wake up in a bad mood simply because they have to go through the motions for the next ten or so hours; turn on the coffee pot, the television, the computer, the iPhone, make the routine breakfast, shower, dress, turn off the coffee pot, the television, pack up the computer and the iPhone, turn on the car, the radio, commute.  That part is a little intimidating for someone like myself who has spent the last several years getting up every morning taking my time to read the New York Times if I please, or perusing iTunes, or writing, or lying in bed trying to remember the dream I just had, or going for a long run, choosing any or all simply because I have the time.

However, once I get over the routine aspect, I am back to longing for those 9-to-5 golden hours.  I’m convinced that the restaurant industry makes it impossible to lead a healthy lifestyle or have healthy relationships with people.  Personally, I am most productive in the morning. I fuel my early morning productivity (it has to be early if I want to get anything done before work) with coffee and sometimes green tea energy pills.  This helps me get my butt to the gym.  After the gym I have a few hours to cram in any errands and other activities before having to get ready for work.  Once at work, I find I’m quickly losing steam and need a pick-me-up in order to be productive.  The result?  Drinking coffee and/or green tea in mass amounts throughout the evening. This ultimately leads me to be wide awake when I get out of work say around 11 pm.  Therefore I have a glass of wine or, if on a Friday or Saturday night, a Makers Manhattan.  This vicious energy cycle eventually starts to wear on one’s body- shocking right?

Not only is the caffeine consumption and alcohol sedating cycle wearing on my health- mental and physical- but it’s also almost impossible to eat at normal hours.  I almost always eat a normal breakfast at a normal hour, but I find I end up eating a massive lunch because after 4pm or so I am not able to eat again until 10pm.  It’s not that I end up eating at 10 pm, it’s what I end up eating.

yum!

I end up snacking on the baguettes and butter we use for bread service as they are the only easily accessible food to quickly chow down on.  I have learned our delicious house baked bread is a great vessel for other condiments as well, my personal favorite combo is Sriracha sauce and butter.  Due to this high intake of carbohydrates, butter and condiments, I recently started the Michael Kors project.

Besides the obvious health issues in terms of food and caffeine consumption, I find myself mentally suffering from lack of relationships with people outside of the restaurant industry.  I say suffering because I deeply believe that everyone in the restaurant industry is somewhat insane, including myself.  I need some “normal” people in my life in order to help keep a grip on reality.  Further, I get easily bored interacting with the same kind of people.

The interaction I have with one of my roommates, Alex, who works Monday to Friday 9-to-5, is a perfect example of missing out on some good human interaction.  I see her for maybe 10 minutes a day in the morning as we cross paths.  I have all morning off she has all night off.  By the time I get home at night she’s asleep.  Then, as it goes in the restaurant industry, the weekends are the busiest for me, where as she has the whole weekend off.  She’s a great source of support and a great friend and I wish I could spend more time with her.

Despite my lack of 9-to-5 lifestyle, I am trying to incorporate some 9-to-5 qualities.  The quest for the 9-to-5 job isn’t just about obtaining the hours, but also in anticipation of getting there, better using my time to write more and cleanse my life and mind of clutter, if you will.  The strive to find balance.