Lessons from 2014

I am not big on the New Year’s Resolution trend as I think it’s something a majority of people take part in but never follow through with. 

I do think it is important to take a look back at the year behind you and the year in front of you and analyze what you did that you like, what you did that you didn’t like and what you want to do more of.  It’s almost like a marketing analysis.

I’m taking January to do some serious gearing up for 2014.  Complete with taking a month off from drinking and partying.  Time to get focused! (I find I’m easily distracted by a night out that too often than not can end up a late night out that leaves me tired and unmotivated.) Also time to have some self control!

That being said I woke up after a very early night to bed and some strange dreams (all of which when looked up online could be interpreted as dreams of change- coincidence?) and instantly started reflecting on some very important lessons I learned, some much, much harder than others, in 2014.

Here they are:

• The people you love and trust are still capable of breaking your heart.
• Confidence is the sexiest accessory you can add to any outfit.
• People change.
• There is so much more to aspire to then just aspiring to be someone’s wife.
• If someone/something seems too good to be true, they/it probably are.
• Asking for things seemingly out of your reach is scary. Getting them is incredibly satisfying.
• The more you talk about something the less you get it done.
• Your first instincts are almost always right.
• Friends and family are more valuable then any paycheck. They have saved so many bad days much faster (and cheaper) than anything money could buy this year!
• Losing a family member or friend may never stop hurting, despite the years that have passed, but they are still everywhere. You just have to keep your eyes out.
• Ireland may just come in second to midcoast Maine as the best place on earth.
• Being in a good mood instantly seems to lift the moods of others around you. So smile, laugh and joke more!
• A good night of sleep solves a majority of the little “disasters” in my life.
• Not everyone you love will love you back no matter how deeply you love them but as long as you love yourself, your heart does eventually mend.

Bring on 2014! Cheers. 🙂 xx

To 300 Leiter Side Posts…

Talk That Talk

“But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.” ― George Orwell, 1984

I’m starting to realize how much power words can have, and, more importantly, how much power they don’t have when you choose not to use them.

I’m a dweller. I dwell on things.  It’s the one thing that as I grow older I’m continuously trying to work on.  I especially dwell on people’s words.  The things that people say to me. Which is obviously really silly for a number of reasons!

Especially in a world where we are constantly communicating  virtually. Now a days words are so often taken out of context. For example, we all have that one friend who over analyzes every text message her crush sends her wondering what he possibly could mean when he texts her, “What are you doing?”

(compliments of Verily)

As a now 26-year old “adult,” I’m really trying to work on lessening my load, so to say.  As in not carrying the burden around of other’s words and their negative thoughts about the choices I make.  In the past, I have always had a pretty care-free attitude, but after getting dumped, changing careers to start from the bottom of the barrel and moving across the country I think I lost some of that edge/ self-esteem I had when I was once drowning in what many would call an overly comfortable zone.

I’m not making excuses! In fact, in order to focus less on other’s words I’ve tried to come up with some guidelines that have recently proved helpful and, not surprisingly, greatly improved my overall mood throughout the day:

1. Don’t repeat the negative things someone says to you. It does no good to relive the moment and the negativity that some person may have caused you over and over again.

2. Don’t try to understand it. This is another thing I’m constantly trying to do, to rationalize everything. “Why would someone say that?” “How could they do that?” Etc. At the end of the day we will never understand why people say or do the things they do. Humans are funny creatures.

3. Don’t purposely talk about the negative things in your life. I find it so easy to complain about my job or my apartment or my family.  Though it’s often harder, it’s so much more rewarding to find the positive things in those situations. Or, if that’s too difficult, which it can seem impossible at times, find something else positive to talk about.

“The Golden Rule,” as my first grade teacher used to say, is: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

She was a wise, wise lady. Funny that at age 26 I’m still trying to learn what I was taught at age 6.

20-something blogger goes BIG

My roommate recently shared with me this explicit blog by Emma Koenig.  Koenig’s blog, soon to be a book, has recently gained quite a bit of attention, and not just because of the explicit title.

While I’m envious of Emma Koenig’s blogger stardom, I’m equally as excited to see a struggling 20-somethings’ expression of what it can be like in a day of the life get some credit.

After reading some of Emma Koenig’s blog posts and laughing out loud in comical relation, I read the recent article in the New York Times that discusses Koenig’s success but also the 20-something tragedy.

I liked Ms. Koenig’s ballsiness right off the bat.  I laughed out loud to some of her posts, including this one:

From Emma’s blog.

But what really won me over was this quote:

“In such a culture, Ms. Koenig said, you wonder what it means to be successful. “Is it making money?” she asked. “Is it tons of hits and fans? Is it making work I like or surviving for that week?””

Bingo.  I ask myself this same question at LEAST once a day and the answer changes every time, often, with a lack of confidence and evidence to support any one of these answers. Sometimes I think we could be called the trial and error generation.  A generation where nothing is certain or guaranteed and there is no recipe for success.  We live by trial and error.

Other fun things I learned in this article:

• Emma Koenig’s brother, Ezra, is in a little indie band you may or may not have heard of, Vampire Weekend.
• Newsweek recently published an article about our “screwed generation” which sums the daily hardships we’ve come to know as life which is pretty depressing/interesting.

And, lastly…I am not alone in feeling a constant level of heightened anxiety…

• “If depression was the hallmark of the Gen-Xers,anxiety belongs to the Millennials.” ~Dr. Meg Jay, a psychologist who treats 20-somethings. “They are worried life isn’t going to work,” she said.